Walks alone

But still, my favorite moment of the day is waking up early, while the city is still deep asleep, and walking my dog as the morning light starts creeping in. I love being alone. I love that first breath I take when I step outside–the breath that truly hits you in the face. I love the camaraderie of the few loners I encounter, that knowing smile we share before we look ahead, already forgetting the face we just saw. I love sneaking a peek inside the homes of my fellow New Yorkers, seeing their Christmas trees lit, their shelves full of books.

It’s moments like these that make my heart feel absolutely full.

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I believe I love him the most when I miss him. His flaws are replaced by the warm memories of his kindness. And sometimes, that’s okay, too. When our conversations and lives hit a lull, ideals of him can be preferable to just him. The little fights focus on our sharp fragments, but these ideals let me still see him as a whole. And that’s how I love him. As a whole.