A closer read: Caroline Sams, editor

One of our friends describes her as “perpetually suffering.” And even Caroline agrees that this description is probably the most honest. Because Caroline truly has the worst luck, and she is constantly paying for it. When we first met, Caroline told me she threw her back out simply from tying her shoe. A few months later, her cat, Niko, attempted to fly from the window of her fifth-floor apartment. Somehow, she ended up with the only cat in history who can’t land on his feet (don’t worry—he survived and is already looking forward to the next disaster). Even just a month ago, she shared with our workshop that her optometrist diagnosed her as both near- and far-sighted (yes, that’s a thing). As you can tell, the list goes on… And on.

But this never-ending series of unfortunate events doesn’t stop Caroline from being who she is. Maybe it’s her unruly red hair. Maybe it’s the influence of her boisterous Niko. But Caroline’s resilience and humor are the best things about her. Every unlucky event is told with laughter and refreshing honesty. Every story of her misfortunes becomes a tale of irony, recounted with details in retrospect, but details that will always happen eventually.

Getting to know Caroline was wonderful, but becoming close friends with her is truly something else. And that something else is everything. Kindness through genuine curiosity. Laughter mixed with angst. Real and honest, and she creates her own context in your life. During our interview, she described what makes certain books impossible to forget for her—small scenes pulled from a larger story, so tiny it rarely occupies more than just a couple of pages, but also so poignant that it never leaves the reader. And that’s how I would describe Caroline—a singular person pulled from a crowd of millions, small, but with a presence so powerful that it can never leave you.

What was the book that started it all for you?
Alanna: The First Adventure by Tamora Pierce. It’s a fantasy book about a girl who pretended to be a boy so she can become a knight. It was one of the first books where I felt like I could really identify with the main character. She was weird, and so was I. She has red hair, and so do I. It was also one of the first books I wanted to read outside of having to read for school, which also started my love for reading. It’s all because of this book.

What is the book you recommend the most to people?
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro because it has elements that are appealing to a lot of different types of people. Everyone I’ve ever recommended it to all really loved it. Except an ex-boyfriend, but that’s why he’s an ex. Because he doesn’t get it.

What book recently left a significant impact on you?
Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine because I really felt attached to the main character. The book covered a lot of serious subject matter, but I also loved that Eleanor was okay with being different. She was just totally herself, and she didn’t feel the need to change to make friends. I felt like she stayed true to herself throughout the book, and her growth as a character was not about her transforming into someone else, but it was about healing and opening up to more people. And that’s surprisingly hard to find in modern literature.

I also really liked that Gail Honeyman did not feel the need to end on a romantic storyline, which at times throughout the book, seemed like where it was headed. But that was not the point of the story. And that became explicit at the end.

What was a book you found truly disturbing?
I wouldn’t say I loved The Vegetarian, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it either. There wasn’t a resolution for any of the characters, and you don’t really learn anything about the main character. I didn’t understand the catalyst for her, and the different narratives you get from the people around her just made it even more confusing. And because there wasn’t closure for anyone, it felt like it ended in the middle of the story.

There are a few books I’ve read like that that stuck with me simply because it did not feel right. Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami is another one. I don’t remember the whole storyline, but I remember this specific scene where the protagonist is in his dorm, and he’s talking about his laundry while he’s in his boxers, and for whatever reason, that scene stuck with me. I don’t remember the significance of it, but I do remember the feeling that that scene invoked. It defined the entire experience of that book for me. The narrator felt like a blank canvas that you’re just supposed to project your own feelings on. And that became his character flaw.

What was the last book you read in one day because you couldn’t put it down?
The Road by Cormac McCarthy, and it really fucked me up. It was even raining that day, and I was beside myself with grief. Even though the language was very straightforward, the extreme imagery the reader conjures up is truly the responsibility of the reader’s imagination, and not because of the author. It was also unsettling that the fate of the boy wasn’t ever clear or final, and what made it worse for me is discovering this theory that the family that rescued him at the end might have been a hallucination. It addition to it being graphic, it also impacts you on a very personal level.

How would you describe your relationship with books?
Therapeutic and necessary. It’s my favorite activity to do in my free time, but I also do it as a necessity, like I have to read to live. I love reading, and sometimes I think it’s to an unhealthy degree because I ask myself why I spend this much time escaping into these stories. And that’s okay, too.